What's In A Name?

I have an all new fascination with looking up the meaning of someone's name. It started with a wedding gift we got that has our names and the meanings with scripture... it's so interesting and it makes me happy to see how simply letters can apply so much.

It has also contributed to my desire to name our children with a strong name. I use to like the name "Berkeley." However, after some research I discovered that "Berkeley" means "birch tree". Kind of lame.

I've come to absolutely love three brand new names- all Hebrew. "Zachariah"(Zach) meaning "God remembers", "Elijah"(Eli) meaning "My God is Lord", and "Malachi"(Mali, pronounced like "Molly") meaning "Messenger of God".

Working in the classrooms of schools for the last few years has made me acutely aware of the strangeness of names, and I'm all for unique, but reasonable. Know what your naming your child. It's a blessing and/or prayer for them every time you whisper their name...

My "Nesting" List

It's kind of like a bucket list, but not.

About 2 months after Casey and I were married I got THE bug. That's right, the baby bug. However, in my mind, I knew we weren't ready, but the bug was still there. Alas, as Tina Fey said on 30 Rock, "My mind controls my body. My body does not control my mind!" so we got a dog. :) Since then I've hit a nesting bug (no more baby!) That resulted in my "nesting" list I have written down by our mail basket. It's so much fun to slowly cross things off the list as we're able to do them. Our apartment is starting to look like a family home rather then two folks crashing in the same digs.

I'm in love with thenest.com and home saving decor magazines- great ideas, some of them actually doable and cheap(er)! I'm willing to put elbow grease into just about anything now, because then I'll have a story and a memory and something one-of-a-kind.

So here's my ever-growing list. :)

1. Paint- dark brown for furniture CHECK!
2. Spray paint- blue, sage, and/or khaki for old picture frames CHECK!
3. Curtains and rods- the good, energy saving kind.
4. A stool- for a bathroom vanity.
5. A real wood desk
6. A real wood bookshelf and cloth baskets for organizing
7. Fake flowers and a planter
8. Throw pillows- Brown, khaki, and blue
9. A new washer- ours is dying :(
10. A real dresser CHECK!
11. A headboard CHECK!
12. Print pictures- wedding and family for frames CHECK!
13. Calla Lily center piece

I love my life. :)

Jehovah Jireh- My God Provides!

Well, lets just say that I am never ceased to be amazed at how God comes through on situations in life.

To summarize: Casey and one of our friends, Heath, were offered a complete sponsorship to attend a two-week study trip in Israel and Jordan. Needless to say, they accepted. However, I and Heath's soon-to-be wife, Ashlee, were only offered a partial sponsorship to attend. It didn't seem like a high hurdle to jump until both couples were faced with wedding costs (quick draining, might I add) This along with several other things resulted in Ashlee and I deciding we were not going to be traveling to Israel this summer. It was a crushing desicion, but one we felt was needed.

And then when word reached a certain gentleman, he did not like the idea of the wives having to stay behind on a life changing trip. He did some research on our situation and then offered to pay over have of my and Ashlee's ticket to go to Israel!!!

I am still amazed each time I look at my new hiking boots or am given advice on packing and work-out prep. I'm getting to join my husband on a trip of our lifetime. I was sharing this story with the girls I'm in a Bible study with, and one of the girls was sitting quietly listening. After a while she sat forward and simply stated, "You're going for a reason. No doubt about it. You're suppose to go for a reason."

I was floored.... My God, how amazing you are! Even when I give up you take care of me! Thank you for what this summer is going to hold! And I pray that through this experience I'll become closer to you and your heart.

Riley

Well,

Casey and I have decided to expand our little family. We adopted a dog. Her name is Riley.

And here's the background story:
About a month ago, I was walking across campus after work and saw and little black dog running around looking scared. And as I always do with dogs that appear non-threatening, I called her over to check her tags. She immediately came to me when I squatted down and buried herself in my arms- I could tell she was scared. She didn't have an ID tag on. She looked to me to be a purebred Schnauzer, and I couldn't bear the idea of her ending up at the shelter and her family having to pay outrageous fees and get her spayed (call me a softy because my mom has a Schnauzer). So, I did what any rational person would do- I picked her up and took her home with me.

Once I was home, I called and left messages with every animal shelter, store, and almost every vet office to find her owners with no luck. So I fed her, gave her water, and took her on a walk. She was the sweetest, most well behaved dog I have ever seen. I immediately fell in love with her. Casey came home from work and listened to me explain the situation, he was a little irritated, but overall understanding. He stressed that we needed to find her home. No problem. However, later that night, guess who was rolling around on the floor with the dog... :)

Long story short, I eventually found her owners and took the perfect dog back where she belonged. It was worth my few tears when I pulled up to the house, the dog jumped out of the car, and I heard a young voice cry, "MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNIE!!!!!!" It was a wonderful sight to see a seven year old boy reunited with his dog.

The next morning, Casey gently woke me up and asked how I was feeling without Minnie around. I was sad, but happy she was back with her family that loved her. He smiled and told me he looked at our finances and we could adopt a dog in a week or two if I wanted. If I wanted??? Of course I wanted!!

I searched breeds and shelter listing for a week before Casey and I took a trip out to the San Angelo Shelter. We walked the aisles- you could see how sad the majority of the dogs were... :( and we each picked out a dog we wanted to play with and get to know further. My choice won. Casey teased me about picking the mangiest looking dog in the whole building. But as soon as she was alone with us her sweet personality poured out. We were in love. Immediately.

Riley has been a wonderful addition to our home and we cannot imagine not having her. Getting to see her personality continue to grow and bond with us and been amazing! We love our little pup!



At the animal shelter when we met her Taking a nap after we had her home a few days. After she had a visit with the groomer to get all her mats out.

When the Year Rolls Around

Well, it is that time of year. This is the season full of opposition for me. As I enjoy the warming sun, the budding of colorful flowers, and the celebration of my Savior's life, I am also reminded each day of my earthly father's death. It was at this time last year his health made a turn for the worse... and it has been over a year since I saw him walk, smile, and laugh outside of a hospital- my how the time flies. I try to go through each day without thinking of my family's loss, my mother's loss, and where we all are today, but as May approaches the memories come flooding back...

Hospitals, beeping, coughing, phones call, tears, sleepless nights, suitcases, forms, doctors, tests, tests, tests, despair, hope, anxiety... the all encompassing feeling of hopelessness and loss. Loss of time. Loss of love. Loss of life.

In the time immediately after my dad's passing a grief counselor observed I was struggling with PTSD... I can't say if it ever really went away, and the marking of an unwanted anniversary has made it worse. I've been sick lately, unable to sleep, focus, be happy... When will the healing come? Is my life always to be wrecked with memories I don't want?

Sometimes I wish I had just one more chance to talk to him. I wish I could've had my good-bye. It all happened so quickly, and I miss my dad's hugs.

I miss his involvement in my life. I miss his laugh. I miss the way he would tap his foot to songs with a lot of bass guitar and drums. I miss his surprises. I miss the smell of sawdust and paint. I miss Fox News and Bill O'Reilly... I miss my dad.

I pray that someday the tears will stop coming.

I love you, Dad.